100 Days of Transformation- Day 99

Hi Again!

I like the idea of counting down from 100, so here, we are, Day 99.

The last day has found me heavy in my heart. Moving around seems to intensify the sense of being homeless, even tho I have had lovely spaces to be in. Not having any idea where my new home will be or how I will acquire it, given the current income, probably adds to that.

And...I miss my husband. We packed up our flat and he went back to stay with his 98 year old mother and I came home to get set up here again.

Separation anxiety was a HUGE part of my growing up, having been separated from all but one of my siblings and both parents at various times throughout my youth. Then, being in a relationship with a man who lives 11 000+kms ( 7100m+) away, when I could be easily out of sight and out of mind forgotten drove me so deeply back into God.

I drew on Him to deal with an array of situations around mine and Larrie's love, caused by other relationships, that brought much angst and pain. God was my go to Helper to deal with my heart.

In truth, Larrie was instrumental in the Lord's hands in bringing my heart  home to Him. But I have been missing Larrie and sad that after almost 7 years of working to be together, we are once more separated.

However, the Lord had given me a Word, almost two weeks ago:
The time for mourning is over- Rejoice!
the season of singing has come
So, even tho I have this happening, it is the life in that Word, that comes to me. I know that the Spirit is referring to a much bigger season and cycle of my life.

Life Catches Up

But God gives us Words, before the fact. He gives us an anchor to hold to. Sometimes, it can seem you receive a Word and things get darker or simply go in the opposite direction. BUt eventually, if you hang on, it catches up with God's Word.

So it was, in this case.
Esther, with whom I have been boarding the past 6 weeks sent me a message early this morning, saying she had to take her 18 year old Rusty-dog on his final journey. I know this pain first hand and I know Rusty too, so this was sad, even though we knew he was close to that time.

But the Lord said  The time for mourning is over...
I take any and all of my aches, and I pass them to him, in exchange for His promise.

Food & Focus

My large veggie soup and what's left of a tray
of roasted potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and
butternut pumpkin.

My focus was off a bit, having packed, unpacked, and moved again. We went out this morning so I could renew my passport ( expires in 16 days). I had been trying to get that done for two weeks!
I was struggling to get into the work I needed to do because my soul was preoccupied with cares and concerns. I needed to pray again.

But I made a good start, in-keeping with my 100 Day Master Plan
I prepared food! lol Made a tray full of roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and butternut pumpkin and a massive slow cooker of vegetable soup. And because I stuck to my eating plan, I credit myself with 1 cm off my body measurements and 150 gm. Now that's faith! :) I know it doesn't show like that. But my intention is to stay focused on the goals I set and this would automatically average out to about this amount.

I was a bit grumpy-sugar and coffee detox, perhaps. ( And missing Larrie)
I need to sleep now-no caffeine! lol

A Question for you

Have you ever grieved for the loss of someone precious and special? I lost one of my brothers to suicide when he was only 18 ( I was 17), and later in life, I had my Syd-dog put to sleep in my arms as I held him :'(
Broken hearts are serious pain. And, I'll wager, much of the pain in the world today could be brought down to broken hearts that do not get healthfully healed.

Do you have a positive focus that you can draw upon to get you through those emotionally intense times?
I would be honoured to have you share some of your stories.

See you tomorrow!