We are not only halfway through my 100 days, but also halfway through the year!
And no, I didn't know that I had tee-ed that up! Just followed the leading I received and that's how it turned out!
Progress..?
So, how do I feel I am going?
Sigh...
I don't feel like I ever get anywhere fast enough! lol Every thing takes longer than I want it to, and I have had a week of even more glitches and disruptions! I'm not seeing enough physical change to suit me and am waaaay too preoccupied with 'needing' to see it. I have lost weight and some inches/cms, but nothing that seems noticeable to anyone else-and I want to get to where it's evident to all! lol I also broke away from my 'rules' in a way that I haven't previously, and so, am keen to reinstate them fully again. I have been diligent with the fasting hours. This week I am doing 14 hours minimum.
Review, Revise, Recommit.
It was far from anything major-the ship is not sunk, but I just want to feel consecrated and committed to my original vision and focus. Finding a place, signing a lease, moving furniture and belongings, still being available for daughter and babies, church AND actually did a last minute restaurant gig in Robina too, yesterday!-All these things add more flux and disruption to an already non existent routine! ( The gig was answered prayer too)But, I was out all day and night, Saturday and Sunday!
No time for gymming, or working on anything else, as I had to spend all the time I did scrape up, dealing with Microsoft Support and Best Buy, Emeryville Ca., where I bought my laptop. It still isn't finished. But today I had other official business with NEIS and Centrelink.
Heart Matters
I had another little emotional relapse today about that situation that I've not previously identified, and am yet to feel released to do so. That was connected to a very long conversation, which took today's 'free' time (whatever that is lol!) It is in my list of prayer requests for this 100 days, that by the end of it, I will have peace concerning all things to do with that.
It's really out of my hands anyway, other than the prayers I offer up and the willingness to accept God's purpose in and through it all. But sometimes, I let it eat at me and want to try to reason and/or persuade. Ultimately though, it's not up to me, and I'm not entirely sure what God wants in it- I just know it's hard to let go of hope. :( I don't want to.
If God wants me to do so- that's what I want made clear to my heart.
Looking Forward
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| My lovely girl, Pearl- last year. |
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| Such a gorgeous photo.. just a week or two ago. |
That's enough of looking back. I am only half way. It feels kinda like the fulcrum of the tipping point, or perhaps, turning point. I still have a lot of time to make a lot of progress. I find it interesting too, that this halfway point is marked by the geographic shift in to a new space with opportunity to start yet another new routine. ( Ha! None of them last long enough to be defined as a routine lol-altho, my little granddaughter coming to knock on my door in my morning and snuggling with me has become a ritual for us <3)
Routine Markers-Diet and Exercise Plans
I will still be up here to visit two nights and days :) And hope to attend the gym three times then, as well. I want to resume beach walking in the mornings for a minimum of three days a week and more as the days grow long again. (We already passed the shortest day too! Yay!) These are some of my physical goals.
Intermittent fasting will remain over the next 50 days, increasing to 16 hr. It's by far the hardest thing I've implemented, and not always convenient with schedules and activities, but it should produce good results health wise. It should be very good for inflammatory based issues.
Routine-A Fasted Life
Since I desire to live a 'fasted life', I have the feeling that Intermittent fasting will extend into my regular routine beyond my 100 days. A fasted life doesn't only apply for physical reasons. I want to live a fasted life of moderation and discipline in mental/emotional and spiritual ways. This has been the harder part to implement up till now, but will become easier with a stable routine because keeping busy with the positive changes is easier than simply denying the negative habits. Routines are powerful tools for developing habits (good or bad) and disruption is powerful for breaking them (good or bad).
Do not be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:21
It's best to introduce an alternative focus and activity, to replace the previous one and fill the void created with something productive and satisfying. Staying occupied and engaged, purposeful and focused can be quite critical.
Remember, without a vision, the people cast off restraint Pr 29:18, hence a review now of what my vision and ultimate purpose for this endeavour is, rather than get bogged down in what I feel I've not accomplished- which would lead to dejection and potentially, abandonment of the intention.
My main goal is to draw nearer to God, experience His Presence always and regain greater clarity about what He wants for me. In the process, shed the weights that have lingered, internally and externally, and become free to fly. I want to put more effort on my internal focus. I know this is needed if I am to break free in 100 Days, the way I want to.
I want to pray more, worship and rejoice more and do more with the Word.
But, for now, sleepiness is catching up.
Good night.
Have blessed dreams!
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