100 Days of Transformation-Days 24-23-Not Long Now

A Pleasant Weekend


After a rather challenging week, the weekend brought a return to work ( for a 4 hour shift), a family event, half a Sunday of fellowship, some unpacking of boxes ( yes, still more) and a walk through some of my favourite hand made books from as far back as a couple of decades ago.

A double page spread from one of my 'art books'  ( 1999) made with family photos collaged into a second hand book.
(No Photoshop then-but I loved tactile collage!)

This shot really doesn't do justice to the effect they achieved.

The event last night, was my eldest hosting a concert. My daughter, Sarah and her fiance, Ben, do everything with excellence for these occasions.

Stars rolled across the backdrop.

I loved having so much of my family there and being part of it. <3 <3 <3
It reassured me and made my heart thankful to know I am where I should be-in spite of the hard decisions it's taken to re-settle here at home.

Sunday Eve
Another week has passed and Week 11 has wound up, Week 12 is kicking off. This week, like the last two, has the simple emphasis of the same 16:8, fasting to eating, ratio. The last week of no bread, pasta, rice etc...Woohooooo! Seriously looking forward to some vegemite toast!

I don't know how much of the other I will have. I don't imagine going back to large amounts of these. They just won't be altogether banned. It will take an adjustment again, just to include them. I will still do the 16:8.

I was reflecting again today, on how the 'work' seems to be increasingly, intensely internal. This had to happen, given the primary outcomes hoped for are predominantly internal. I summed them up as basically shedding the weights of the past. Things I had picked up in travels over years that were not conducive to a fruitful life in God-less healthy eating habits, bad thinking habits, poor sleeping habits (which wasn't as simple as me choosing to stay up late).

Yes, I wanted to make a bit more progress with my physical goals, but if the internal rudder is correctly set, these things will be the eventual outcomes as well.

But also, to clear the slate of old versions of God's vision for the rest of my days. I realised I haven't had a clear vision for a long time, and that's because I have spent  a couple of decades fumbling around in the fog that grew out of hardening my heart toward God.

Thank God, He brought me Home to Him! I believe this 100 days is a re-consecration to Him and subsequent re-alignment with His purpose for my life. It has brought some heart wrenching tearing down of strong emotional ties, but I know anything that He intends for me, will pass through death and be restored to me, pure. All else will fall away.

Once the foundation is squarely and deeply re-set, He can build anew.
He did speak to my heart in January, telling me this year would be the end of debt and clearing of the slate to a level field that will be ready for quick and significant growth. Considering this, I feel on track! Wow! That's a revelation! AND a comfort! lol

So.. that's where I am today-and preparing to write a very cool e-book on making books, but more on that next time!

100 Days of Transformation- Day 25- Low lows and high highs

Light and Dark

Today started with some time at the beach, which is always therapeutic. But I thought I would try the closest, rather than my favourite, usual one. But I didn't last long there.


Looking south toward Surfers Paradise. This beach is much more exposed, and much cooler as a result. I didn't feel ok with leaving my towel and drink bottle on the sand whilst I walked.


I just went back to the car and drove to where I feel good. :) Where I know I can get the beach walk experience I am used to. :)
Burleigh! I never regret going! Never! A HIGH.

So, I had my walk and prayed as I went. The money glitch I mentioned yesterday needed to be corrected, and calls about it came through early. My husband, Larrie, was helpful there but I was also somewhat distracted my personal heart matter.

I felt persuaded about what I needed to do  but my heart was breaking over the prospect-as it has been for months, for I have tried to avoid having to go through the inevitable heart-ache of my situation. A LOW low.

But, my assurance that I would have 'peace' even in the pain of difficulty, and assurance of what is best even in hardship-come the end of my 100 Days, and that's the benefit of walking with the Lord.

I followed through on my decision and then cried my way through much of the rest of the day.
I also followed through with my plan to do some artwork today, even though I'd not done any work all week, due to being under the weather. Being emotionally strained was even more reason to keep to my intention.

It was a good decision, because what I accomplished and how wonderful I felt about it, made it the high of highs for the week. It isn't complete, but it is the first colour pencil portrait I've done. I have many graphite works, ink and watercolour works and some digital works, you can see here on one of my Facebook pages.

Here is the work I did today. :) This is my Grandbaby Girl, Pearl.  <3

             
 The  time for mourning is over; Rejoice! The season of singing has come! A personal word to me earlier in the year.

Forget the former things,
Do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. Is 43:18-20

As gut wrenchingly difficult as it can be to turn away from the deep attachments of the past, it is time to find fresh hopes for the future. Easier said than done for sure, but God is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
Amen.
    

100 Days of Transformation-Day 28-26-Priorities

Greetings!

My beautiful youngest son, Matthew.

Well, all that running to and fro and going hither and thither (lol) took its toll- as it does when you get lopsided. I was working everything toward getting that workshop done-but running nights and every day. But, now, I have spent the last three days unable to do much at all, having run myself down into exhaustion and lowering my immunity to susceptible to bothersome conditions.

This evening, although still  somewhat clogged, and throat sore, I feel better than I did when I awoke this morning-turned the corner, finally. My head feels foggy concerning matters of business, having had yet another disruption, and the day off tomorrow, in which I planned to paint ( I did some preliminary drawings- I need to be creating!), now feels like I need to play catch up again.

Ugh! NO!

You know what? No!
I am just going to change the goal schedule!
It does me no good whatsoever to constantly feel behind.

God Orders Our Steps
The steps of a righteous man ( male and female man) are ordered by the Lord,
And he delights in His way. Ps 37:23

Weren't we talking about this just the other day? If I am truly standing in faith believing that God certainly is ordering my steps, then, as I go about my way, I should have peace that all that needs doing is being done.

And as pointed out previously, in Days 43-42, in the final two paragraphs, changing the sense of feeling like I am always behind, and that definitely comes from fully investing faith in the Truth that God is the Master Orchestrator of my life and the orderer of my steps. If I know this, I don't have to worry about missing God, or missing out, or getting ahead in haste.

A Still Life from one of my house sits.

Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established Pr 16:3

Yes, I had plans to accomplish certain things by certain times, and EVERYthing takes longer than you plan-even when you think you allocated enough extra time. Not only that, but dealing with issues that are not under you direct control, e.g. 4 weeks of  Microsoft still not correcting my Office issue, and messed up payment schedules, coupled with not working...meaning a hole in the finances...when there was going to be surplus!

I had just decided to use some of that surplus to outsource some aspects of what needs to be done (including buying Office outright), so I could get beyond some tech learning curves and move past some things that just keep holding me down and pulling me back-which sounds just like what this 100 Days is all about!

But, here's the thing: if we burn out, we are working in our own strength-or lack thereof. If I commit my works to the Lord, and wait upon Him, it doesn't mean I don't work diligently, but it does mean, it won't be in vain, and I will be energised rather than depleted. It also means you will be doing the things you are meant to do, rather than what you think others require.

So, I'm doing more committing! And I'm going to draw more deeply from the scriptures that tell me my God and Father is guiding and leading, counselling and instructing, ordering and orchestrating- and His eye is upon me.

P.S. Heart MattersThat concern, that I said I now see a way to be a victor, rather than the victim in, has also weighed heavily. There is a time sensitive choice to it, but God's timing is perfect. Don't want to be hasty and miss the way Pr 19:2

P.P.S. Fasting
It's been hard to stick with it this week. Sore throat has wanted hot soothing lemon and honey drinks (just outside of my 8 hr window!) and I have woken to cravings for vegemite toast for 2 or 3 days ( Haven't relented tho! A combination of not feeling 100%,  wanting to comfort eat, and not being on the ball with times, I think. Some days, may have been more like 15 hrs, but it will likely be back to the 16:8 ration now.

100 Days of Transformation-Days 31-29-God Is Faithful.

A Big Weekend.

Yes, it most certainly was!
I was very busy, getting everything I needed together and set up for this workshop to be ready.
And from all who came and the feedback I had, it went very well. I hoped for between 6 and 10 attendees and had 8- pretty perfect!
 One comment said...

"Thank you Lisa was a lovely day, very inspirational,love what you’re doing,most enjoyable,gave me the kick start I needed,spent the rest of the day walking around listening to music and taking photos of flowers beautiful beaches and nature. Sharon xxx   ...re: yesterday's workshop on Creativity."

Many learnt a lot and left inspired. My son video-ed it, so I can review the content, re-purpose content, transcribe it and grow through it all. This is the warehouse Haul Media hovers above. 

I took the opportunity, after it was over, to visit some friends I hadn't been able to get to for weeks, and then had to drop off chairs, so ended up home after 6:30 p.m. Another long day-and I just wanted to stay off my computer. Sunday, I went to church, which was wonderful, as usual, and then had lunch with two good friends...arriving home around 3:30 p.m. at which point, exhaustion set in!

Having been burning the candle at both ends for a few weeks, I could feel myself giving in to less than the best symptoms.

A New Perspective

Apart from my workshop, teaching people how to cultivate a mental head space to generate new ideas, I was introduced to one! It was concerning that personal heart matter, and it certainly did shine the light on aspects of myself and my true position in this situation. I am still giving it much consideration.

This proposed idea, from my friend, removed me from being the helpless victim, into a position of being able to make my own deliberate decision-and I could decide either way.

But I would have to own that choice. 

This is often the part of decision making people don't want to deal with-the responsibility of making the decision.

But one of the major outcomes desired from this ongoing fast was to come to a clear and peaceful place regarding this matter. So to have come to this inversion of views at this later stage is very interesting. Especially since, over this past several days, I have felt distinctly led by the Lord to seek Him for His vision for my future. I realised I hadn't really had a solid view of my future for a long time-I was still bemoaning the loss of the old one, from decades ago! Dropping such weights is all part of this 100 Day agenda!

Finally...A New Dawn?

Even so, when I awoke this morning, with a sore throat and groggy head, I wasn't feeling too keen to do too much. All I am was crying out for a full day and night of not needing to go anywhere. Heaven on earth for me is playing in my own space! And the thing I despised the most is busyness running to and fro and getting nowhere but dizzy!

I have been confident thAnd at somewhere, somehow, a slower rhythm would emerge...and I still think that, but when the glimmer of a hope for an actual day of rest at the end of this week appeared, I realised just how weary I was.

And riding that weariness and slight inclement health, came the feeling for the first time, of wanting to disregard this fast. There was that other time, when I felt like I was getting nowhere ( maybe around 4 weeks or something), but I think the desire for 'comfort food'  was driving this one! lol

I woke up yearning for vegemite toast! Lemon ginger tea WITH honey-something hot and soothing. I had hot water :( and then got moving with the days' plan, and eventually had my fruit and yoghurt around 10:30-11. I enjoyed some chicken and veg mushroom saucy stuff for a later lunch and kept a bit over to have in my 15 min evening work break.
And aside from the sore throat, the night went fairly well.
I also woke up looking for my bible, which I'd left at church! I do have others, but one's own personal bible is always special. I collected it after work tonight. I need it- because as i have said so many times.. and am still so slack to be true to consistently- prayer is priority. Not from duty, but for  love.
Not as work but as fruit of devotion. 
The bottom line: I don't want to miss God...but even more importantly, I want to please Him.
I want what He wants for me, and I want to want it because I know, it is by far the BEST and HIGHEST thing.

I also want to be diligent to be prayerful about things that are much more expansive than my little life. The nations, the leaders of nations, the lost, the lonely, the hurting, missions, widows, orphans, homeless, the broken and destitute. I want to be part of the solution- a good steward. I feel I have been very remiss in all this whilst I try and get a handle on this new life back in Oz.

Yet, God has remained so faithful.
Till next post....
p.s. sorry I just realised the mistake I made in cutting and pasting the quoted comment. I usually type everything so that doesn't happen, but I forgot and I don't want to retype everything-it's late-as usual. lol

100 Days of Transformation- Days 35-32-A Very Full Plate

Oops! Days getting away!

Don't think that I didn't think about blogging every day-I did...but, lol, well...very full days, long days, full hours, leading up to this weekend's workshop and still working evenings, helping my daughter and visiting with grand-babies, church meetings...I am holding out for that time when a gentle rhythm emerges out of all the busyness and things settle into a swing. :)

16:8

I have been diligent with the 16:8.  It is staying at that for the rest of my 100 days, but I will release some things back into my menu come week 13...a piece of toast for starters :) I wouldn't have had bread or toast, pizza, grain based foods in general ( except corn), rice or pasta for almost three months by then!  Unbelievable!! Never would have thought I could voluntarily do it!

As far as losing more weight and shaping up goes, I am sure that would be happening faster if was getting regular exercise and doing some weights...sigh...but I can actually see a difference-altho no one else seems to be seeing it. Maybe it's the clothes I'm wearing. I don't know how much I've lost. I'll find out eventually. But my thought habits have been changing quite a lot-especially since doing the intermittent fasting.

God's Faithfulness In Provision

 A couple of weeks ago, I asked God for $1500 to take care of some things for my 28.5 yr old car, Rita. Mechanical and cosmetic. Today, a dear friend of mine, recently widowed, asked me to lunch and asked me about my old car-whether I still had her etc. He wants to do the work and take of what I had on my list to do!!!

Isn't that just God!!??
I am quite humbled and overwhelmed at the kindness and specific goodness God shows me. <3 Even when I feel less deserving than ever! Especially then. But as long as you turn to Him with a heart that truly wants to be consecrated to Him, however imperfect, and rely on His unfailing love, He is always there.

Amen!

Workshop

I thought i was only going to have a mum and her 13 yr old daughter tomorrow, but now, it turns out that  I have NINE lovely people coming tomorrow. Reach Out ( church ) lent me chairs, Michelle and Matt supplied tables ( and Matt muscle power lugging chairs!) and now I am - I think - all set to go.
I want to be out by 8:15 ( Hard call on these chilly mornings!)

I hope to gain some enthusiastic reviews and comments and suggestions that will help with producing more content as well as cultivate interest from others for future workshops and courses.

Well, that's about it for me. Nearly 10 and have to bright in the morning.
Ciao for Now!

100 Days of Transformation-Day 36-Subtle Changes

Woohoooo! Here, just a fraction earlier! lol

Today, I just wanted to share a bit about how my thought patterns have been changing. Definitely, with all the constant denial, or delays, around eating food, I find myself always thinking at least twice, about whether I really want something and whether it's an appropriate time to have it.

The Intermittent Fasting has been a game changer in this way. (New roomy came to chat...now 9:25pm lol) I am aware of the changes but I have the feeling, once the 100 Days are done, I will still be noticing the ripple effect of ongoing fruit. In that sense, I believe these weeks are a 'seed' of something much greater in my life and down the road, I will be able to pinpoint a time between May 12 and Aug 20, 2019 where something special started, or shifted.

Other Calls And Desires To Help
I was asked by the pastor if I could do the worship for the next four Wednesday evenings up at the Outreach church in Toowong, North Brisbane. Unfortunately, I just didn't feel I could ask that of my new job, after already being accommodated for the prayer meeting and workshop dates. However, I do think, if needed, I might be able to cover the third or fourth one.

One thing is certain, if the Lord wills it, the opportunity will be there!

Also, my daughter, had to go alone with babies all day and overnight, and even though my heart longed to assist her, I felt I needed to continue with my plan to get my business work done and settle for being there on my usual 2 nights. ( I may even only do one)

Plus, it's good for her to know she is capable and I wondered, in helping too much, was I hindering her from fully enjoying that pleasure?

Fruitful Times

I spent the day, up till 3:20pm, working through my content for my mini-course. It is part of preparing for the weekend workshop too, but I already feel I want less words and more practical. The words can be there, for added reading, but I want to balance small portions of text, with images, videos and Calls-To-Action, that is, things to do.

I will condense it down further for slides and video and add the practices and a project. No one is coming to a creativity workshop simply for me to sit and talk at them! They will have the added content to take away and read. I really only have two more days to get it done. EEEeeek! Which is why I really couldn't have coped with the added daughter visit.

It is time to get my work done!
And I am making progress :)

 This is the cover of the one I was working on today and below are the pinnable images , along with variations of this one, to share this weekend's workshop with FB audiences and blog readers on my new business blog Learning with Lisa Online .

 You can click on the images below to see what the workshop and my website are about.

Up till now, work has been minimal and efforts skeletal, but that is beginning to change and will continue. I do feel pretty full up booked! Even though I miss my husband so much, and wish he was here and we could have time together, there would be no work happening right now, if he was.

I just lose myself in attending others. And I don't think I am the only wife, mother, grandmother that does this. It isn't bad. I love it! But I know I have waited a long time for the right time for God to fulfil other purposes in and through me too, and so these things must be balanced and tempered in the scheme of things.

  So, that's where things are today... oh and, I am hungry! lol. No food for another 12 hours! My dinners are very small as I only have 15 mins in which to eat them. A cuppa soup and some corn thins or corn chips! It's the only 'meal' carb ( coz it's a fruit) that I eat, and not a lot of it. Anyway...nearly sleep time now.

Rest blessed!

100 Days of Transformation- Days 39-37- That's A Wrap! Let Go.

Sunday

Firstly, after a potential emotional dip, today has been a good day.
I lead worship at Church and that was a delight with the band I had and wonderful with the God who graces us, by taking His place enthroned upon our praises. (What an amazing gift!)

Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness Is 61:3

Then, enjoyed fellowship and lunch with more fellowship. Now, I need to sort out my head and pray for guidance on what should be done this week. I'm sure we all feel like we have more to do than we can ever get done, but God only requires what is necessary for the day.
Ps 37:23, Pr 16:9, Ps 32:8, Pr 3:5-6

He orders our steps when we commit our day to Him. He is Master Orchestrator, syncing everything in accordance with His perfect will, if we will lay it all before Him and trust in that guidance. Sometimes, what we think is urgent and pressing isn't, because He has already moved things around to fit a better schedule, and we find we worried for nothing.

Other times, we think something is urgent but it isn't even on His radar for us, and if we take time to pray and bring it before Him, he will give us peace to release it from our concern.
What A friend we have in Jesus,
All our sin and grief to bear.
What a privilege to carry,
 everything to God in prayer.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit. 
O, what needless pain we bear.
All because we do not carry ...everything to God in Prayer.Here is Alan Jackson singing this

Will we ever learn? lol

Saturday

At the risk of boring anyone reading, this week was an intense one for my personal heart matter. I deliberated a long time about setting a new boundary-which I wrote about last time.

I want to recap here, that the point of this 100 days is to clear the slate of unnecessary baggage and weights that are keeping me bound in old junk. By the way, people are never baggage or old junk, however, their relationships in our lives could be wrought with baggage and junk because of what we have allowed them to become. Sometimes, this does mean separation, but I just refuse to identify people themselves as anything less than valuable and precious-period.

Healing of the heart happens in cycles. Yes, God may do a miracle, but walking it out in every day faith requires a commitment, determination and discipline to choose to focus and magnify what is often contrary to what we see and DEFINITELY what we feel.

And that takes practice. So, it also takes time. My 100 days is the time I felt prompted to allocate for this healing and clearing. But dealing with emotional pain scares us humans waaaay more than physical pain an we often look for ways to circumvent it, ease it, avert or avoid it altogether.

Until we recognise that our fearful clinging is actually the source of our pain, we cannot know the freedom God has for us. Neither can we enjoy the fullness of His Presence as we hold to something that threatens to usurp Him in our hearts.

We have to trust God. Cling to Him.
We must let go.

Whatever it is we fear losing, or the pain it threatens, it cannot compare to losing intimacy with Him. We may have grown used to feeling distant, but once you've known God as so close, life without His tangible Presence is just lack lustre.

Not only that, but God will fill the void. He will give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. Give Him that chance. ( I am preaching to myself by the way) Take that "idol", lay it at the foot of the cross, and leave it there. If, like me, you have taken it back up a few times, just keep putting it back. God will give you the grace if your heart's desire is to put Him first.

And He will give it back, if, once the unhealthy attachment is broken, it is good for you. :)

Friday

Through all that emotional stuff, I am still endeavouring to get clear and focused and productive with my work. I have an inkling that as I move past this, a whole lot of freedom to move forward will flood my life. Although it can feel like forever...I am always moving forward.
He did tell me this year would be Daily Building.

I am humbled by how good and faithful God has been through all this, even tho I have felt so messy and scattered. His provision and support have been constant with love and appreciation abounding, even as there are constant challenges that require diligent effort to resolve (some, yet unresolved).

I have finally started to make some head way with some business plans, but oh!, what an exploit! To get my head into a place a spacious work space! To choose what needs focus NOW and to allow other tasks/goals/desires to be shelved temporarily- when they ALL FEEL URGENT!
Full Circle

And this brings me back to where I started.
Get before the Lord. Back in the US, the Lord revealed a sequence of things to me from Ps 37:1-9
He showed me a sequence on how to deal with issues that bring fear (anger/wrath/reaction), so that we can walk in faith. The answer is always to know what God says and take it to heart. Let it anchor your soul. If we are to overcome the 'evil' that wants to hold us back, we must focus on the good we are to do instead. Rom 12:21
Look at verses 3-7(a) -He gives us positive actions to take, whilst we entrust our concerns to Him for His actions.

Trust in the Lord and do good,
Dwell in the land and feed on his faithfulness
Delight yourself in the Lord
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord
Trust in Him and He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the [dawn]
and your justice as the noonday
Be still before the Lord and patiently for Him

Final Fasting Words

Putting all this in context-remember the fasting is primarily for spiritual reasons-allowing the spirit to have ascendancy over the flesh-with the subsidiary bonus of increased health and fitness (and decreased weight!lol)
However...still no gym, but making a determined effort this week to resume some basic weights at home. Not ready schedule wise to get to beach walks yet, since I am legally obligated to work 35 hours in my new business (NEIS contract) and am working evenings Mon-Thu/Sat morn, and still getting to my daughter's for two nights and days, prayer meeting and church.

Hopefully, as a rhythm kicks in and a momentum picks up, and the mornings get a bit longer, it won't be long! I am longing for beach time!

This eve marks the end of Week 9, leaving just 5 weeks and 2 days to go!  Sheesh, it still sounds like such a long time! lol In this final 3 week period ( last one is 2 wks), I will continue without bread, rice, pasta ( wheat stuff, generally). Lots of fruit and vegs, got the protein etc, but now having gone from 13 hr to 15 hrs of fasting... it is now, 16 hrs... and an 8 hr window for eating. I expect that to generally be 10am-6pm. I have done this and longer on a number of occasions in this past 3 weeks, but just making it definitive makes it 'scary' lol.

I have noticed that as long as I can stay productively occupied, it's not really an issue. I don't think about food much if I am fully engaged. This is something I've always known about myself. It has also reduced my eating between meals a lot of the time. If I didn't have clear purpose, I'd procrastinate and end up eating or drinking more coffee (with sugar and biscuits). I certainly haven't been doing much of that! Having a snack of anything in the evening isn't worth the delay it will put on my first meal the next day!!

For what it's worth, I believe this extended personal venture into dietary denial has been an essential part of all else that takes place from a spiritual perspective, in my heart and soul, daily habits and practices.

Phew! And with that...I am signing off until my next word!
Be blessed!

100 Days of Transformation- Day 41-40-First & Last,Old & New

Today marks:

The 24th anniversary of our leaving Sydney to move to the Gold Coast and a new life.

The first official day of my new business Learning With Lisa Online- not that there's much to see yet.

The first day on my new part time job-which came with a very warm welcome back ( coz I had previously worked there for a couple of months

The last day I spend in emotional limbo- I took action regarding the heart matter that has weighed so heavily upon me. But with the end of that limbo, comes the stark reality of the emptiness that follows a clear decision and acceptance- which was the pain my heart had been avoiding all along.

But there can be no resurrection, where there has been no death. The work of the cross must be felt in all our inner dealings, if we are to know the power of His indestructible life. So, although it is the end of something, it is simultaneously the beginning of something.

Forget the former things,
Do not dwell on the past
Behold, I am doing a new thing,
Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Is 43:18-19
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, But I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal, to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us then, who are mature, should take such a view of things. And if, on some point, you think differently, that God will make clear to you. Phil 3:12-15
Being able to leave old things of yesterday behind and move on into the new of tomorrow is actually a sign of maturity in the Lord! This includes being able to forget our own successes and failures, which is actually the context of this passage.

I had NEVER seen that quite that way before!

Immediately, the verses from James that say, Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James1:2-4

Maturity stands under trial, in joy.

The time for mourning is over-Rejoice!
The season of singing has come. (A personal word to my heart from the Spirit)

Wow!

I am seeing things already! How that soul tie held power over me because I didn't want to detach and it gave license, through that connection, for some things to stay active in my life, even as it impinged upon the flourishing of other things.

Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
you will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For Your Maker is your husband-
The Lord Almighty is His name-
he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,"  says your God.
"For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you," 
says the Lord, Your Redeemer.
"To me , this is like the days of Noah,
When I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the Earth,
So, now I  have sworn not to be angry with you, 
never to rebuke you again.
Though the mountains be shaken 
and the hills be removed,
Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken,
Nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Is 54:4-10  

I know it's a lengthy passage...but it has always spoken strongly to me. Tonight, it speaks with fresh comfort and hope and joy as well.

I believe TODAY has been an extremely significant STARTING day!

Isaiah 46:11 says, "Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, be assured I will do it."

Whatever has been birthed in you, was spoken to you, either through the Word of God or through a prophetic word or from God speaking it to you Himself...whatever it was, God promises us that if He spoke it, He will bring it to pass. Kim Potter

100 Days of Transformation- Days 43-42-Dust Settling?

It's been a full two days in my new place.

Mixing trying to focus and catch up on the work, whilst getting my space livable and ordered. I'm quite content to work my way through a little at a time with unpacking, but I get a bit concerned about keeping the shared spaces in an appropriate condition.

I really wanted to do this blog early , rather than late, but I am soon to leave for the prayer meeting, and to lead the worship, so I don't think it will be done. And I just don't like doing it after 9:30 at night...

...lol, but here I am, 9:53pm...oh well. :)

Getting Settled

This is the third consecutive night I have spent in my new place. My roomy left earlier today and hasn't come back. Altho', she was expected a few hours ago, I don't think it's uncommon for her to have a change in plans. Anyway, so i am 'home alone', hee hee.

I have been doing my best to make headway into my E-book and workshop content, as I simultaneously work on unpacking and organising my belongings. Food has been very minimal and fasting 15 hours each day has been quite a big deal. Of course, not having done any shopping, I've not really had too much to pig out on, either! lol

I went back to Rache's last night just to help out for 3-4 hours, plus, I am still bringing the last of my belongings from there, as well. I made a tuna pasta bake for dinner ( I left a corner without pasta for me) and brought some fruit back for breakfast. :) Today's lunch was a surprisingly satisfying blend of leftover bits of basil pesto, a 3cm cube of cheese and about 6cm square chicken fillet, one mini cucumber, a sliver of avocado and half a carrot. It was good. :)

But I think I will need to get some shopping in the morning-lol

In case it isn't obvious, I am struggling to make a reasonable effort tonight. An hour has passed and I am plagued by the need to address other things. I just can't do everything.

But I will mention, there's been a lot of emotional stuff around that matter of my heart. Change in living conditions would trigger this. Moving is always an emotional thing. I have no fear of provision...knowing I have access to methods of producing income consistently.

I want to plan a budget and set a schedule for accomplishing financial goals for setting up home, for growing business, for giving. I am in an inner swirl with being clear and ordered, but, I know as days pass and I get a chance to find  and establish my rhythm, all that will settle. This is my current agenda, over everything else.

Get a clear plan and schedule. Move out of feeling like I'm constantly behind.  This is an important thing for me, because I believe such thinking springs from a 'lack' or 'wasted' mentality, neither of which are a good thing. They will work detrimentally against my good efforts to function efficiently. Time to consider the Word on this.

I remembered to speak over myself that God has given me a spirit of love, power and a sound mind. God is the orderer of my steps,  and my Master Orchestrator. He has APPOINTED times and perfect ways. I just need to stay yoked to Jesus, abiding in the  Word and walk in the 'rest' of faith.

That's it tonight.  Sleep sweet.

100 Days of Transformation- Day 46-44 Acknowledgments and Blessings

Playing Catch Up!
I have spent the evening trying to get through some of the many boxes to unpack and sort in my new place. My goals were to get my clothes hung up and my bed made. That took three hours! Lol mainly because it involved decisions about other boxes and content along the way.

I did have doing this blog and two other things on my list, but now my bed is ready, I think I'll be doing the other two in the morning. I am pretty sure I will wake early, so that should be ok!

Thank Yous

In case, you weren't aware, when god answers prayers, He usually uses other people!
God has provided for me so powerfully through family, new friends, old friends, church family and I am just sooooo grateful.
Rachel (my daughter) and Kani-sharing their home and babies <3, and Larrie, my husband, for ongoing support.
Karen and Michelle from church, who loved to see I'm looked after for lunch on Sundays :).
Michelle especially for joyful willingness to help over a period of a week or more, to move my things!!!
Natalie at Spaghetti & Jazz for gig work,  Connie for book/illustration work and Netty for the new job, and Carolyn (landlady)and Sonja, new roomy, for the warm welcome at my new place and to God for the fact that they are Christians!!!

God uses people. He wants to use us all as part of His provision and plan to demonstrate His goodness in the Earth. He tees things up perfectly through His praying and listening children. He is the incredible Master Orchestrator!

God uses people :) Generous and joyful people. I want to be just like these guys with their warmth and kindness! And this list is really only specific about the last week or so...it doesn't go into detail about the wonderful goodness I have experienced at God's hand, through His children, and even favour with those who are not yet, but love me anyway.

Just want to acknowledge them all and shout THANK YOU! <3

Dubious Consistency

Even though it may look like I have backed off commitment to some things-like the gym(!), and even being consistent here- truly, it is not that way in my heart. I just haven't been able to physically DO everything!

I may not have been at the gym (Shame, coz I'm paying for it), but I have been somewhat active, with moving and still looking for how I can implement a new plan for the new schedule. I think it will continue to include dumb-bells and Shellea's Fabulous 50s 5 and 10 minute workouts.

I haven't really focused on much of anything but getting fully moved and living each day in its own fullness. I still have a little bit more left at Rache's, but will have that across, over the next couple of days, however, the bulk of the next three days is to make some substantial progress with business goals that have gone unattended for pretty much two months, apart from some sporadic efforts to try and move forward.

The time is NOW here, to complete the actions that came with the clarity of direction I received weeks ago. I am looking forward to being able to wholeheartedly give myself to these things and create quality fruit. Something of which to be proud. The workshop is booked and the Joint Venture with Author friend, Deborah Bates one in Aug is also booked. The ads for that go live in the next day or so. But the supporting work to do excellent presentations and provide quality materials now has to get out of my head and into tangible formats.

Even as that gets underway, the second job starts on Thursday...which is way better than when it was going to start (tomorrow), giving me some very much needed breathing space for business and organising my space. I'm also leading worship Tues night and Sunday morning, and want time for my own worship time before that.

In other words, it's still FULL ON, but the light of a developing routine is in sight!
Hallelujah!

Fasting, fasting, fasting...

Week 7 just finished and week 8 commenced at sunset tonight. Now, I am up to 15 hrs fasting and a 9 hr eating window. I have been diligent with the hours I've kept up till now, but I will say, as someone who has suffered eating disorders and body image issues, the fasting can lead to situations that bring opportunities for old thinking to come in. Well, really, I guess 100 days of fasting anything could do that, and I can see it, too.

But with total fasting and specific times comes the issue of working with other peoples' rhythms and schedules, which can lead to the sense of feeling the need to guard against not having access to food- as in, a perceived potential lack. This can, in turn, lead to taking more trouble to ensure access, rather than just go with it. This bothered me today because I was out with other people, but if it happens just in my own day, I don't have that trouble. 

I haven't eaten anything since about 4, and finished a decaf coffee before 5:30, so I can eat at 8:30 tomorrow. Usually, it's more likely to be 6:30 and 9:30. I feel like I'm not doing enough to deny myself in the eating window, but I don't berate myself about it, because I look at it rationally, and it seems a silly thing to think-an old eating disorder way to think. Working out and exercise, on the other hand, I DO want to do more about.

Part of me feels kind of 'over' fasting and I feel much more aware of what I'm not having than I was earlier on. I do think that comes from making a 'treat' available. It has typically bee a very minor treat, at that, but it's enough to cause me to have to think about the challenges it is giving rise to. This could be partly why I don't feel like I'm doing enough-coz more mental energy seems to be going on food than it was before. I will prayerfully consider this, as I think there is a freedom to be found in it. An important one.

Fact is: it's easier to go without altogether than to show control. This is the thought behind Anorexia and even AA, and other addictions. But we can't go without food- we must find balance. Healthy balance.

The focus for the next three weeks is just the 16:8 Intermittent Fasting. I'm not going to do the food combining, but I am going to be portion minded. There will continue to be no bread, pasta or rice, or any grains other than corn related foods- and not all of those either. Only my one treat may be in this range.

For the final two weeks-actually 16 days, I will reintroduce measured portions of these foods again.
I have no idea how much I weigh but I do feel smaller. I can feel my hip bones when I'm lying down again-finally! Still, it doesn't seem to be anything anyone else has noticed, so...

Other Progress

As for my other goals , to do my heart emotional matter, health and finances...I think I will leave those for another blog.. too much to say and it's late. Bedtime!

100 Days of Transformation-Day 47-Persevering

The Prize of Perseverance

My sleeping grandson, Samuel Judah Puru

The days have been long and challenging, and somewhat frustrating. Funny thing is, I can still that circumstances are all moving in sync with the delays the challenges are causing, so that the stress and anxiety that threatens is consistently being waylaid by news of moving due dates. I keep 'turning up' to move forward and even tho, in some cases, I am investing much and getting nowhere, I persevere.

God is my Master Orchestrator and the orderer of my steps. Jehovah Ra-ah, the Lord is my Shepherd.

Once again, I didn't get opportunity to blog till 10pm last night, so waited until this morning.It's almost 7am, but my granddaughter is still sleeping.

I go to spend my first night in my other place, but will be back tomorrow night. I move across permanently from Sunday, but I will still be here from Wednesday night to Friday evening-altho I will be working 4-8pm Wed/Thu at the new job. I will be working days at my new business, but will do my best to be minimise that when here, treating Thursday and Fri as my weekends as much as possible. Yes, I will be busy.

My fasting and eating have been fine, eating after a certain time isn't always convenient, but I've been consistent with my 14 hrs. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to the gym and my former plan won't work at all now, so I'll be looking for alternatives. I will still be able to do the beach walks, but I know I need a muscle building plan too.

I have done some work with dumb bells and floor exercises at home, plus I have been moving boxes and some furniture up stairs etc the past ten days or so. The best solution will arise, because it's an important part of finding a permanent lifestyle element for health and being.

Once again, perseverance toward that end is required.

Matters of the Heart- 

At the close of this 100 days, the situation that has weighed on my heart will resolve as well. I have held on in hope against hope, unsure of the outcome details that the Lord wants but proclaiming in the areas I am sure. The goal in this area, is that I have peace and joy in Him and in all He is doing in my life no matter the outcome and that the word He spoke to my heart months back will come to complete fruition. The same word that comes to my rescue when the heaviness lurks in the shadows.

The time for mourning is over, Rejoice!
The season of singing has come.

It's good and timely to remember this right now. :) It doesn't feel like a suggestion, but an authoritative instruction. I hear and will not harden my heart. I will rejoice! I will sing!

Jehovah Shallom, Jehovah Shammah He is my Peace and He is near.

Principles of BreakThrough

Each day I work toward Daily Building, through all the many interruptions, disruptions, distractions, diversions and delays. It's not easy to keep going when there seems to be so much resistance. But here's the thing about breakthrough:

You are claiming back territory that you had previously relinquished to the control of another. In this case, I refer to spiritual strongholds. Emotional and physical habits that you allowed to take precedence, that you know wish to supplant. It's takes committed dedication.

Sometimes, I feel like I am just getting through a day and accomplishing nothing, but on a deeper level, I am know I am DAILY BUILDING, even as I tear down the old weights and entanglements.
I believe my hundred days are the tipping and turning points in the year and that what God promised me back in January is what he is accomplishing in and through me.

They are the bridge back into the fullness of the Way, the High Way. All these changes in circumstances and provision are part of securing the second half of my 100 days- and the year as a whole-well on the path marked out for me.

God is faithful. And He is good.

100 Days of Transformation-Day 49-47-Ongoing Testimony

I confess... doing a blog at 10 o'clock at night is just not what I consider to be a worthy plan.

1. Because I am a morning person and unless I started earlier and am on a roll, it just doesn't work. And,
2. I don't think I do the job justice.

Having said that, I am going to attempt to do this early in the morning, before  my gorgeous granddaughter comes knocking at my door for morning cuddles.

Till then... Bonsoir.

Next morning...
No time without granddaughter, who woke extra early, and now has my desk chair so she can play my keyboard, coz I already took my piano stool to my new place! lol moving right along...

Jehovah Jireh Comes Through Again.

Whilst moving things, I had a call with a part-time job offer that will boost my income a little and make living much more affordable. Perhaps, also allowing the long overdue things, like dentist, car repairs and maintenance, underwear (!) to be done.

Changes in circumstances, Changes in Plans 

This means the great intentions and plans I laid for the gym and being at my daughter's will be affected, as well as my commitment to lead the worship for the weekly prayer meeting. More change, more adaptation needed to work around, or cope with these changes.

My current meagre ( tho appreciated) income will be tripled, which is the limit I can earn outside my new business on the government programme I am on, so it seems like a good fit. I start next Wednesday, and my business starts officially on Thursday.

Whilst they all bother me, as they are commitments that matter, the prayer meeting felt like a not negotiable for various natural and spiritual reasons. Since the new employer is willing to let me leave an hour earlier to attend the weekly prayer meeting, I took it as confirmation that the other two areas would work out as well.

This means all new ways to build a routine all over again. It also means very long days, as I am obligated by legal agreement to commit 35 hrs min to my new business as well- which means 11 hr days, which won't be so hard once I move on Sunday.

Other Challenges
Tech issues in multiple areas have plagued me  and made doing anything else impossible.  Still, no success with Microsoft Office issues, after more than a week and 8hrs+ on the phone.

The Day is Away..!

It's now FOUR hours since I got up.. and the likelihood of adding any worthwhile content is waning by the moment. Time to move my bed to the new place.

But i wanted to leave you with
GOD IS FAITHFUL... a new home and a new added income!

Till next time!!

100 Days of Transformation-Days 51-50- Halfway!

Halfway!!

We are not only halfway through my 100 days, but also halfway through the year!
And no, I didn't know that I had tee-ed that up! Just followed the leading I received and that's how it turned out!

Progress..?

So, how do I feel I am going?
Sigh...
I don't feel like I ever get anywhere fast enough! lol Every thing takes longer than I want it to, and I have had a week of even more glitches and disruptions! I'm not seeing enough physical change to suit me and am waaaay too preoccupied with 'needing' to see it. I have lost weight and some inches/cms, but nothing that seems noticeable to anyone else-and I want to get to where it's evident to all! lol I also broke away from my 'rules' in a way that I haven't previously, and so, am keen to reinstate them fully again. I have been diligent with the fasting hours. This week I am doing 14 hours minimum.

Review, Revise, Recommit.

It was far from anything major-the ship is not sunk, but I just want to feel consecrated  and committed  to my original vision and focus. Finding a place, signing a lease, moving furniture and belongings, still being available for daughter and babies, church AND actually did a last minute restaurant gig in Robina too, yesterday!-All these things add more flux and disruption to an already non existent routine! ( The gig was answered prayer too)But, I was out all day and night, Saturday and Sunday!

No time for gymming, or working on anything else, as I had to spend all the time I did scrape up, dealing with Microsoft Support and Best Buy, Emeryville Ca., where I bought my laptop. It still isn't finished. But today I had other official business with NEIS and Centrelink.

Heart Matters
I had another little emotional relapse today about that situation that I've not previously identified, and am yet to feel released to do so. That was connected to a very long conversation, which took today's 'free' time  (whatever that is lol!) It is in my list of prayer requests for this 100 days, that by the end of it, I will have peace concerning all things to do with that.

It's really out of my hands anyway, other than the prayers I offer up  and the willingness to accept God's purpose in and through it all. But sometimes, I let it eat at me and want to try to reason and/or persuade. Ultimately though, it's not up to me, and I'm not entirely sure what God wants in it- I just know it's hard to let go of hope. :( I don't want to.

If God wants me to do so- that's what I want made clear to my heart.

Looking Forward

My lovely girl, Pearl- last year.

Such a gorgeous photo.. just a week or two ago.

That's enough of looking back. I am only half way. It feels kinda like the fulcrum of the tipping point, or perhaps, turning point. I still have a lot of time to make a lot of progress. I find it interesting too, that this halfway point is marked by  the geographic shift in to a new space with opportunity to start yet another new routine. ( Ha! None of them last long enough to be defined as a routine lol-altho, my little granddaughter coming to knock on my door in my morning and snuggling with me has become a ritual for us <3)

Routine Markers-Diet and Exercise Plans
I will still be up here to visit two nights and days :) And hope to attend the gym three times then, as well. I want to resume beach walking in the mornings for a minimum of three days a week and more as the days grow long again. (We already passed the shortest day too! Yay!) These are some of my physical goals.

Intermittent fasting will remain over the next 50 days, increasing to 16 hr. It's by far the hardest thing I've implemented, and not always convenient with schedules and activities, but it should produce good results health wise. It should be very good for inflammatory based issues.

Routine-A Fasted Life
Since I desire to live a 'fasted life', I have the feeling that Intermittent fasting will extend into my regular routine beyond my 100 days. A fasted life doesn't only apply for physical reasons. I want to live a fasted life of moderation and discipline in mental/emotional and spiritual ways. This has been the harder part to implement up till now, but will become easier with a stable routine because keeping busy with the positive changes is easier than simply denying the negative habits. Routines are powerful tools for developing habits (good or bad) and disruption is powerful for breaking them (good or bad).

Do not be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:21

It's best to introduce an alternative focus and activity, to replace the previous one and fill the void created with something productive and satisfying. Staying occupied and engaged, purposeful and focused can be quite critical.

Remember, without a vision, the people cast off restraint Pr 29:18, hence a review now of what my vision and ultimate purpose for this endeavour  is, rather than get bogged down in what I feel I've not accomplished- which would lead to dejection and potentially, abandonment of the intention.

My main goal is to draw nearer to God, experience His Presence always and regain greater clarity about what He wants for me.  In the process, shed the weights that have lingered, internally and externally, and become free to fly. I want to put more effort on my internal focus. I know this is needed if I am to break free in 100 Days, the way I want to.

I want to pray more, worship and rejoice more and do more with the Word.
But, for now, sleepiness is catching up.
Good night.
Have blessed dreams!