100 days of Transformation-Day 95 Roller-coasters & Bridges

Hi Everyone.

Today was a heavier day -and not because of my weight! lol

When something hurts and we grieve, the process heals in cycles. We come through a dark place, into the light, and feel great, only to find ourselves plummeting, yet again, into a spiral dive!
So much for getting off early! lol

Reality kicked in again. And kicked me in the guts-basically.
We resist the acceptance of something because the pain of it is just more than we think we can bear. We even argue that letting go of hope is admitting defeat and giving up.
In spite of ourselves, each day adds up to slow but steady resignation.

The thing with emotional roller-coasters, you just gotta ride 'em out sometimes.
I take the Word and proclaim it. That may or may not change my feelings right away-but it does go to work. It will bring change when I do it  from my heart. It gives me strength for the moment in which I need it.

Yes, I'm gonna have to do it again. But each time, cycling through again- I draw closer to the healing of my broken heart. (Just writing that brought tears.)
Stopping for  a good sob.

Moving Along

100 days is a long time just to talk about this stuff...tedious at best-especially if no one else joins in!

So, today, I also wanted to share a bit more about some of my hopes for this 100 days.
Here are some of the things I anticipate as part of my new reality. Whilst I haven't created a fixed structure for this time, I do have some mental milestones, and maybe sharing those here will secure them with even greater certainty.

At the conclusion of these 100 days, I expect:

• a significant weight loss.
• to be 1-2 sizes smaller
• to be a lot healthier
• to have much improved sleep quality
• to build a signature look wardrobe
• to have my own home and home office
• to be excelling in my new online business
• to have a stable routine for holistic well being
• to love my life again
• to know where/how I belong in the greater Body of Christ and be there!
• to have a regular $$ giving schedule
• to be developing fluency in French
• to be head over heels in love with my God.

The timeline for all these things is to be built into this 100 period.

So far, week one has been:

Physical focus:
Start a Daniel Fast and move back in with my daughter and family.Conclusion of Course. Conclusion of an old life.

Mental focus:
Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. Trust God's Word beyond my feelings.
Bring my pain to God in prayer for myself and others (and the election) and exchange it for His promise and His peace. Amen.

Looking Ahead
Now, that Week 1 is drawing to a close, how do I want to approach Week Two??

Asking myself that question led to making this table which simplifies the process.
There is just one step between where I am and where I want to be: How I am going to get there!
That's where daily building my bridge comes in!

I decided to make myself a table. I hadn't thought about this much before now, but this is pretty cool.
I do have a disclaimer...This journey is far more internal than external. Qualitative rather than purely quantative. But it can be much harder to measure qualitative specifically.

A question for you.

If you were thinking about where you'd like to be in 100 days, what are the types of things you would like to see come to pass??
Here is a link to a blank table for you to play with.

100 Days of Transformation-Day 96

Today was so full, it felt as long as two days!
Not in a bad, dragging kind of way-just full.

Congratulations In Order!

My lovely son and I. He's the baby ( 26) :)

So, today, my son Matthew, and I finished our course. He's all done, but I have a few last bits to complete. It looks like he will get to kick off on May 30, but I get about 6 weeks more (July 11) to get my work organised-which is most helpful!

It feels good to be seeing the end of the beginning! lol

And I 'm quite happy to have my Wed/Thur back too!

Fast Food

Now, today felt quite good. Didn't really crave anything or give much thought to food, other than to mentally consider the fact that I am fasting -finally! It took me literally MONTHS to get to the place where I felt ready to give up my daily joys.

Food had been my comfort. Coffee, too. Although, I think I generally eat quite moderately, I really just don't need much! Plus, thoughts of food and body image had just begun to consume way to much mental 'air' time.
The Lord gave me grace last Sunday to kick off my fast and with each passing day, I grow stronger. :)

Changes

Not to be too graphic, but some of the changes I am and have been experiencing include: no gas or bloating,  sleeping for longer hours at a time ( a BIG deal!) and the head-aches seem to have subsided. I had some through the day, but they are all gone, now. It feels good to NOT have a bloated belly at the end of each day.

Oh, and I am struggling to write this. as I keep dropping off to sleep, even as I sit here, typing!

In other areas, such as my emotional condition and causative circumstance: not ready to talk yet.  I had some flat, empty places earlier in the day, but things improved. I do my best, at these times to use God's promises to hold me and I saw a fat arc of rainbow today, in the eastern sky-so vivid and wide. IT served as reminder that God is faithful to His promises.
I stopped to enjoy it and send a photo of it to my husband, Larrie.
This picture doesn't, in the least , do it justice!

I had to go to Tugun and submit some original documents for a Senior Centre that booked me for a gig on May 31. I had been trying to get that done for a couple of weeks, so it felt like a major milestone to tick off my list!

I visited Possum and Ben Possum this eve (my eldest daughter and her fiance) and enjoyed a lovely impromptu visit. As I was talking with these two, I actually saw a difference in myself, and reflecting on it further, after I left, I appreciated that development even more.
I AM getting somewhere!

Moving Ahead

The thought I'd like to leave you with today is not to give up. I know we can get so tired of trying, so weary of pushing on. The path forward can seem daunting and just way too demanding, but if you just turn up every day, and do whatever you can, you will get through...

Because...GOD is faithful and in due time, He will bring you forth as gold, if you hold to His word, and faint not. He gives sweet morsels along the way, too-if we give Him the chance.

His peace transcends ALL understanding and guards our hearts and minds, restoring our souls.
Phil 4:6-7
My prayer for you today, is that you experience this peace, no matter the storm.

Feel free to let me know of a time when you cried out for God, and He gave you deep, and unwavering, peace.

Til tomorrow... :)

100 Days of Transformation-Day 97

Well, greetings!

This evening finds me in a very different space.
I awoke and pondered some of my favourite Scriptures on 'rest' and 'peace'. I want to sustain a walk in that 'rest of faith' of which we read in Hebrews.
Some of these verses are Heb 6:19, Mt 11:28-30, Phil 4:6-8, Is 30:15, Is 32:17 and Ps 46:10.
When I carry these in my heart, God's grace enables me to experience the truth of faith that is a rest.

Having completed my first three days (and counting) of  my Daniel Fast (see First day). There were still head-aches, although they did disappear for a while. Apparently, sugar withdrawals can led to head-aches and feeling down.  https://www.healthline.com/health/sugar-detox-symptoms

I'm sure all kinds of withdrawals do! lol

A Good Day

The day was underway early, as I had to leave and attend a course I'm doing. Tomorrow is the last day. It's been fun doing it with my youngest son. We are both wanting to get new businesses off the ground and the course is to help us get the best start.

I always do the 'mum thing' and take a healthy lunch for us. I didn't have the wrap with ham, but shared the salad and coleslaw. Today, I added a little cheese (<30gms) and a boiled egg, along with my. The worst of wanting to have something other than what I was committed to seemed to have passed today.

I visited a close friend after-ward. We shared a coffee .It was the first coffee in three days and the last again, for a while. We laughed, I cried and we talked. It was a good visit. :)

I have arrived at the end of this day feeling good emotionally.
My circumstances haven't altered, but I know an internal work is bringing forth fruit. This is why I love walking with the Lord. If we will but take our pain to Him, He will give us rest.
Come unto me all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Mt 11:28-30 

Hallelujah!

Daily Credits

Before I started this adventure, I decided that each day I walk it out, I will credit myself with certain rewards-by faith. This simply means I count to my record an incremental amount of my desired outcomes. I am a little reluctant to say just yet what that is, coz some may think me foolish. However, I will say that today, it did excite me!
Having come through the initial valley of sorrow ( The cause of which I am yet to divulge), today I am experiencing the pleasure of making progress. There may well be other valleys...but that one is behind me. :)

What About You?
Can you think of a time when , in the midst of drama, God gave you supernatural peace?
Why not share here and encourage others with your testimony? :)

100 Days of Transformation- Day 98

Praise In The Valley!
Today began and ended with prayer and praise- so that is a very good thing!
Coming into God's presence, where we can be restored is everything!

Side Effects

Apparently, it is not uncommon to get head-aches when fasting, or eating in a cleansing kind of way.
Yesterday, I had a little bit of a head-ache, but today, it's been persistent. I would love to have had a good coffee lol! Just for the psychological value!

I am doing this 100 days because I believe it's going to bring me through to a new place of freedom. Freedom in the Lord, freedom in my body, freedom in my heart and freedom in my thinking.

Feeling My Way?
Even tho I don't know all that I am going to do in this 100 days, I do trust I will be led by the Holy Spirit and He will give me wisdom. It's hard to explain the dichotomy of being led by the Spirit, in  spite of one's flesh and actually be fruitful apart from the feelings.

For example, today, I felt kinda sluggish and lack lustre and experiencing a general sense of being a failure. Our emotions can be our biggest weight.
I beat up on myself for not being further along some road to...whatever expected of a woman in her mid 50s.  It didn't feel like freedom!

God's More Sure Word.
But I also have the abiding comfort, that it is passing.
That's what God's Word does for you. It is the anchor to our soul for just such a time as this.  And I know, during the process, that some days, when it comes to healing, or simply growing, are just 'blah!'. But they are carrying us, one day closer to our hoped for dawning.
One less sleep...

 For all the crappy feelings, I still accomplished a task that I had been trying to get done for over a week.  I also painted, rather hurriedly, a few of the Mother's Day cards I made, coz I want to share them with some special people.

And I still have good and precious people and pleasant circumstances to be thankful for. I am not desiring to complain at all...just share the journey.

This is a card I designed that causes the flowers to 'grow' as you open it.
I am happy to share the template for it, if you would like to try making it too.

So.. how was your day, today?

100 Days of Transformation- Day 99

Hi Again!

I like the idea of counting down from 100, so here, we are, Day 99.

The last day has found me heavy in my heart. Moving around seems to intensify the sense of being homeless, even tho I have had lovely spaces to be in. Not having any idea where my new home will be or how I will acquire it, given the current income, probably adds to that.

And...I miss my husband. We packed up our flat and he went back to stay with his 98 year old mother and I came home to get set up here again.

Separation anxiety was a HUGE part of my growing up, having been separated from all but one of my siblings and both parents at various times throughout my youth. Then, being in a relationship with a man who lives 11 000+kms ( 7100m+) away, when I could be easily out of sight and out of mind forgotten drove me so deeply back into God.

I drew on Him to deal with an array of situations around mine and Larrie's love, caused by other relationships, that brought much angst and pain. God was my go to Helper to deal with my heart.

In truth, Larrie was instrumental in the Lord's hands in bringing my heart  home to Him. But I have been missing Larrie and sad that after almost 7 years of working to be together, we are once more separated.

However, the Lord had given me a Word, almost two weeks ago:
The time for mourning is over- Rejoice!
the season of singing has come
So, even tho I have this happening, it is the life in that Word, that comes to me. I know that the Spirit is referring to a much bigger season and cycle of my life.

Life Catches Up

But God gives us Words, before the fact. He gives us an anchor to hold to. Sometimes, it can seem you receive a Word and things get darker or simply go in the opposite direction. BUt eventually, if you hang on, it catches up with God's Word.

So it was, in this case.
Esther, with whom I have been boarding the past 6 weeks sent me a message early this morning, saying she had to take her 18 year old Rusty-dog on his final journey. I know this pain first hand and I know Rusty too, so this was sad, even though we knew he was close to that time.

But the Lord said  The time for mourning is over...
I take any and all of my aches, and I pass them to him, in exchange for His promise.

Food & Focus

My large veggie soup and what's left of a tray
of roasted potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and
butternut pumpkin.

My focus was off a bit, having packed, unpacked, and moved again. We went out this morning so I could renew my passport ( expires in 16 days). I had been trying to get that done for two weeks!
I was struggling to get into the work I needed to do because my soul was preoccupied with cares and concerns. I needed to pray again.

But I made a good start, in-keeping with my 100 Day Master Plan
I prepared food! lol Made a tray full of roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and butternut pumpkin and a massive slow cooker of vegetable soup. And because I stuck to my eating plan, I credit myself with 1 cm off my body measurements and 150 gm. Now that's faith! :) I know it doesn't show like that. But my intention is to stay focused on the goals I set and this would automatically average out to about this amount.

I was a bit grumpy-sugar and coffee detox, perhaps. ( And missing Larrie)
I need to sleep now-no caffeine! lol

A Question for you

Have you ever grieved for the loss of someone precious and special? I lost one of my brothers to suicide when he was only 18 ( I was 17), and later in life, I had my Syd-dog put to sleep in my arms as I held him :'(
Broken hearts are serious pain. And, I'll wager, much of the pain in the world today could be brought down to broken hearts that do not get healthfully healed.

Do you have a positive focus that you can draw upon to get you through those emotionally intense times?
I would be honoured to have you share some of your stories.

See you tomorrow!

100 Days Of Transformation-Day 100

Hello there, readers!

Well, its been a while and much of that has been to do with having such a weird and constantly in flux life.

Taking A Journey
However, today, I am here with a specific intention.
I am taking a journey over the next 100 days. Unlike so many of the journeys, about which I've blogged- here and elsewhere, this one is an inward journey.

I'm going to let the stories that are integral to this journey weave in and out a day at a time, rather than try and lay it all out at the beginning. And like so many inward journey stories, there will certainly be some shadows, highlights, joys and some sorrows.

But the hoped for outcome is the shedding of what was-that old man-and the dawning of something truly glorious, seen in me as a work of transformation and grace by the Lord.

A Partial Setting
Over the past 10 years, and specifically the last five, having come through menopause, my body doesn't feel like my body at all!
I have had issues with several irritating physical conditions and increased weight. Add to that, heart-ache, constant moving between houses and countries, general overwhelm and such broken sleep!

Some of My beautiful Family:
Left to right, Kani, son in law, Matthew, my youngest myself and baby Pearl,
far right, is Rachel, my second youngest, mum to Pearl and soon to be mum to
a new baby boy Puru! Less than a week!

I'm tired.
Tired of being like this. Feeling old and ugly and continuing to do so.

Since being back, I have wanted to fast and pray ( as I have on several occasions the past 3-4yrs), but since arriving home, I feel I have spent far more time chasing my tail than anything else and food has been my main comfort.

Still I felt inspired a week or two ago, to do something for a 100 days. I jotted down my weight and took my measurements. Then, I wrote down my initial desired weight goal, and corresponding measurements.  I am embarking on a life transforming spiritual quest, though, not simply a diet and it doesn't involve getting on scales daily or weekly, or even monthly, because what happens with weight will be incidental.

And it is all  about getting back on track, from the inside out.

I will leave the back story here, for now.

Day 100- Sundown
Australia, Mother's Day, May 12, 2019

I moved back to stay with Rache and Kani and Pearl, this day-just for the next month or so. I don't know where to after that.

I launched into my 100 days adventure. It is starting as a basic Daniel Fast with a mind that is focused on seeking God for HIS insight on the issues troubling me.
Food wise: A lot of fruit and veggies. No bread, no rice, no pasta, no meat, altho I am still going to have egg and cheese at times. No coffee, but I do have a lemon ginger or tumeric tea.

After a celebratory Mother's Day lunch with some of my family, including cake and ice cream, I was still not hungry come sundown.

And Day 1 begins.

A Question

Have you ever just felt 'over yourself''?
Like it's now or never- something MUST change!
Please share! :) And journey with me.

Growing A Noble Life.

Hello everybody... whoever may be out there!

I popped by for a quick chat.

I have been living in Alameda, California the past 6 months. Five of those months have been spent in a cosy little one bedroom apartment, in which we have been creating quite a pleasant haven. Although only a single bedroom, the flat has a very spacious feel to it and out small backyard, maybe 20x12ft ( approx 6 x 4 m), has been steadily filling filling with greenery and flowers and hanging things, not to mention my lovely table and umbrella. We just added a birdbath, too!

We have solar lights and are awaiting a small solar powered water fountain to sit in the birdbath and make it more attractive to our flying feathered friends.
Some images of our developing garden over the past several months.

 

 

 

 OUr Tomatoes have skyrocketted... particularly the rogue one by the wall that we didn't even plant , nor have we needed to water! It has cherry tomatoes forming and has now outgrown all of our six foot tall vines.There are three other 'rogue ones too, one in the centre of our bunch at the front. on to the left of our three and another on the far right fence, coming up beside the spider plant you can see in the other shot above.
i love our garden, and my table is my favourite painting and studying, general place to be, spot!!

 

And here are some photos of our night time garden under power of solar lights. Our umbrella is lit underneath too, but we aren't usually out there then. It's not warm here at night..EVER! lol

 Below is the view of the tomatoes on our side fence  and part of the back, and the one to the right of a back fence, which we look out upon directly.

I have rearranged the little twinkly ones and likely will again as I want them to look like a starry sky. For anyone looking , you can buy a set for $1 at the Dollar Store!

I love being able to build and grow something, but for all that, still dreadfully and perpetually home sick for my babies and my country and culture

I keep busy and want to be productive, so, work with Larrie in music, and solo, as I can drive myself a few places now, and I ride my push bike too, ( seen left.. "Kulana")
I have also been drawing and painting a lot of colour-in templates. The one in this picture is for my mum to have for her grands and great grandchildren.. They are small jigsaw puzzles. :)

As you can see, I made colour-in templates for these as well.

I have been studying and writing blogs, but for my other sites... sadly neglecting this one, but it is hard to keep up with all three. You can read the others at https://theincorruptibleseed.com/   and https://ourfiresideromance.com/  .

Other Adventures

We went to visit some friends at Lake Almanor over July 4...highlight for me was seeing the sunrise for the first time in five months!!! I have been starving...gut ache starving!

I managed to see two out of three mornings I was there. Beautiful place, and we had some boating fun as well. Much warmer there!  But it gets white winters, which I will experience later this year-if I am here.

We are taking another short trip up there in Aug 28-Sept 2-just before we leave for Oz on Sept 5.


More Painting.

 

 

Another ongoing project I have started is creating a series called Colour Your Word. I do these for my own meditation and heart establishing, but they are fun and could be helpful to others as well, so I made templates of them as well. I think I will compile them in a book and add some guided devotional work.

I might do the same for the kids puzzle ones.. and I have more puzzles to paint! :)

Feel free to save and print for your colouring fun, but I would appreciate you letting people know where they come from if you share. Thanks!

Closing Remarks

So! Lots of visual pleasures for this read. I hope you enjoy them. I certainly enjoyed living the noble life that led to them.
I would love to hear your comments and thoughts and please feel free to skip on over to my other blogs and make your mark there,  too.

Jesus Is Lord, He loves you and wants you to know Him.
 He is coming soon for those that love Him.
 Best to acquaint your self with Him now :) Amen!