100 Days of Transformation- Days 39-37- That's A Wrap! Let Go.

Sunday

Firstly, after a potential emotional dip, today has been a good day.
I lead worship at Church and that was a delight with the band I had and wonderful with the God who graces us, by taking His place enthroned upon our praises. (What an amazing gift!)

Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness Is 61:3

Then, enjoyed fellowship and lunch with more fellowship. Now, I need to sort out my head and pray for guidance on what should be done this week. I'm sure we all feel like we have more to do than we can ever get done, but God only requires what is necessary for the day.
Ps 37:23, Pr 16:9, Ps 32:8, Pr 3:5-6

He orders our steps when we commit our day to Him. He is Master Orchestrator, syncing everything in accordance with His perfect will, if we will lay it all before Him and trust in that guidance. Sometimes, what we think is urgent and pressing isn't, because He has already moved things around to fit a better schedule, and we find we worried for nothing.

Other times, we think something is urgent but it isn't even on His radar for us, and if we take time to pray and bring it before Him, he will give us peace to release it from our concern.
What A friend we have in Jesus,
All our sin and grief to bear.
What a privilege to carry,
 everything to God in prayer.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit. 
O, what needless pain we bear.
All because we do not carry ...everything to God in Prayer.Here is Alan Jackson singing this

Will we ever learn? lol

Saturday

At the risk of boring anyone reading, this week was an intense one for my personal heart matter. I deliberated a long time about setting a new boundary-which I wrote about last time.

I want to recap here, that the point of this 100 days is to clear the slate of unnecessary baggage and weights that are keeping me bound in old junk. By the way, people are never baggage or old junk, however, their relationships in our lives could be wrought with baggage and junk because of what we have allowed them to become. Sometimes, this does mean separation, but I just refuse to identify people themselves as anything less than valuable and precious-period.

Healing of the heart happens in cycles. Yes, God may do a miracle, but walking it out in every day faith requires a commitment, determination and discipline to choose to focus and magnify what is often contrary to what we see and DEFINITELY what we feel.

And that takes practice. So, it also takes time. My 100 days is the time I felt prompted to allocate for this healing and clearing. But dealing with emotional pain scares us humans waaaay more than physical pain an we often look for ways to circumvent it, ease it, avert or avoid it altogether.

Until we recognise that our fearful clinging is actually the source of our pain, we cannot know the freedom God has for us. Neither can we enjoy the fullness of His Presence as we hold to something that threatens to usurp Him in our hearts.

We have to trust God. Cling to Him.
We must let go.

Whatever it is we fear losing, or the pain it threatens, it cannot compare to losing intimacy with Him. We may have grown used to feeling distant, but once you've known God as so close, life without His tangible Presence is just lack lustre.

Not only that, but God will fill the void. He will give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. Give Him that chance. ( I am preaching to myself by the way) Take that "idol", lay it at the foot of the cross, and leave it there. If, like me, you have taken it back up a few times, just keep putting it back. God will give you the grace if your heart's desire is to put Him first.

And He will give it back, if, once the unhealthy attachment is broken, it is good for you. :)

Friday

Through all that emotional stuff, I am still endeavouring to get clear and focused and productive with my work. I have an inkling that as I move past this, a whole lot of freedom to move forward will flood my life. Although it can feel like forever...I am always moving forward.
He did tell me this year would be Daily Building.

I am humbled by how good and faithful God has been through all this, even tho I have felt so messy and scattered. His provision and support have been constant with love and appreciation abounding, even as there are constant challenges that require diligent effort to resolve (some, yet unresolved).

I have finally started to make some head way with some business plans, but oh!, what an exploit! To get my head into a place a spacious work space! To choose what needs focus NOW and to allow other tasks/goals/desires to be shelved temporarily- when they ALL FEEL URGENT!
Full Circle

And this brings me back to where I started.
Get before the Lord. Back in the US, the Lord revealed a sequence of things to me from Ps 37:1-9
He showed me a sequence on how to deal with issues that bring fear (anger/wrath/reaction), so that we can walk in faith. The answer is always to know what God says and take it to heart. Let it anchor your soul. If we are to overcome the 'evil' that wants to hold us back, we must focus on the good we are to do instead. Rom 12:21
Look at verses 3-7(a) -He gives us positive actions to take, whilst we entrust our concerns to Him for His actions.

Trust in the Lord and do good,
Dwell in the land and feed on his faithfulness
Delight yourself in the Lord
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord
Trust in Him and He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the [dawn]
and your justice as the noonday
Be still before the Lord and patiently for Him

Final Fasting Words

Putting all this in context-remember the fasting is primarily for spiritual reasons-allowing the spirit to have ascendancy over the flesh-with the subsidiary bonus of increased health and fitness (and decreased weight!lol)
However...still no gym, but making a determined effort this week to resume some basic weights at home. Not ready schedule wise to get to beach walks yet, since I am legally obligated to work 35 hours in my new business (NEIS contract) and am working evenings Mon-Thu/Sat morn, and still getting to my daughter's for two nights and days, prayer meeting and church.

Hopefully, as a rhythm kicks in and a momentum picks up, and the mornings get a bit longer, it won't be long! I am longing for beach time!

This eve marks the end of Week 9, leaving just 5 weeks and 2 days to go!  Sheesh, it still sounds like such a long time! lol In this final 3 week period ( last one is 2 wks), I will continue without bread, rice, pasta ( wheat stuff, generally). Lots of fruit and vegs, got the protein etc, but now having gone from 13 hr to 15 hrs of fasting... it is now, 16 hrs... and an 8 hr window for eating. I expect that to generally be 10am-6pm. I have done this and longer on a number of occasions in this past 3 weeks, but just making it definitive makes it 'scary' lol.

I have noticed that as long as I can stay productively occupied, it's not really an issue. I don't think about food much if I am fully engaged. This is something I've always known about myself. It has also reduced my eating between meals a lot of the time. If I didn't have clear purpose, I'd procrastinate and end up eating or drinking more coffee (with sugar and biscuits). I certainly haven't been doing much of that! Having a snack of anything in the evening isn't worth the delay it will put on my first meal the next day!!

For what it's worth, I believe this extended personal venture into dietary denial has been an essential part of all else that takes place from a spiritual perspective, in my heart and soul, daily habits and practices.

Phew! And with that...I am signing off until my next word!
Be blessed!

100 Days of Transformation- Day 41-40-First & Last,Old & New

Today marks:

The 24th anniversary of our leaving Sydney to move to the Gold Coast and a new life.

The first official day of my new business Learning With Lisa Online- not that there's much to see yet.

The first day on my new part time job-which came with a very warm welcome back ( coz I had previously worked there for a couple of months

The last day I spend in emotional limbo- I took action regarding the heart matter that has weighed so heavily upon me. But with the end of that limbo, comes the stark reality of the emptiness that follows a clear decision and acceptance- which was the pain my heart had been avoiding all along.

But there can be no resurrection, where there has been no death. The work of the cross must be felt in all our inner dealings, if we are to know the power of His indestructible life. So, although it is the end of something, it is simultaneously the beginning of something.

Forget the former things,
Do not dwell on the past
Behold, I am doing a new thing,
Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Is 43:18-19
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, But I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal, to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us then, who are mature, should take such a view of things. And if, on some point, you think differently, that God will make clear to you. Phil 3:12-15
Being able to leave old things of yesterday behind and move on into the new of tomorrow is actually a sign of maturity in the Lord! This includes being able to forget our own successes and failures, which is actually the context of this passage.

I had NEVER seen that quite that way before!

Immediately, the verses from James that say, Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James1:2-4

Maturity stands under trial, in joy.

The time for mourning is over-Rejoice!
The season of singing has come. (A personal word to my heart from the Spirit)

Wow!

I am seeing things already! How that soul tie held power over me because I didn't want to detach and it gave license, through that connection, for some things to stay active in my life, even as it impinged upon the flourishing of other things.

Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
you will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For Your Maker is your husband-
The Lord Almighty is His name-
he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,"  says your God.
"For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you," 
says the Lord, Your Redeemer.
"To me , this is like the days of Noah,
When I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the Earth,
So, now I  have sworn not to be angry with you, 
never to rebuke you again.
Though the mountains be shaken 
and the hills be removed,
Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken,
Nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Is 54:4-10  

I know it's a lengthy passage...but it has always spoken strongly to me. Tonight, it speaks with fresh comfort and hope and joy as well.

I believe TODAY has been an extremely significant STARTING day!

Isaiah 46:11 says, "Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, be assured I will do it."

Whatever has been birthed in you, was spoken to you, either through the Word of God or through a prophetic word or from God speaking it to you Himself...whatever it was, God promises us that if He spoke it, He will bring it to pass. Kim Potter

100 Days of Transformation- Days 43-42-Dust Settling?

It's been a full two days in my new place.

Mixing trying to focus and catch up on the work, whilst getting my space livable and ordered. I'm quite content to work my way through a little at a time with unpacking, but I get a bit concerned about keeping the shared spaces in an appropriate condition.

I really wanted to do this blog early , rather than late, but I am soon to leave for the prayer meeting, and to lead the worship, so I don't think it will be done. And I just don't like doing it after 9:30 at night...

...lol, but here I am, 9:53pm...oh well. :)

Getting Settled

This is the third consecutive night I have spent in my new place. My roomy left earlier today and hasn't come back. Altho', she was expected a few hours ago, I don't think it's uncommon for her to have a change in plans. Anyway, so i am 'home alone', hee hee.

I have been doing my best to make headway into my E-book and workshop content, as I simultaneously work on unpacking and organising my belongings. Food has been very minimal and fasting 15 hours each day has been quite a big deal. Of course, not having done any shopping, I've not really had too much to pig out on, either! lol

I went back to Rache's last night just to help out for 3-4 hours, plus, I am still bringing the last of my belongings from there, as well. I made a tuna pasta bake for dinner ( I left a corner without pasta for me) and brought some fruit back for breakfast. :) Today's lunch was a surprisingly satisfying blend of leftover bits of basil pesto, a 3cm cube of cheese and about 6cm square chicken fillet, one mini cucumber, a sliver of avocado and half a carrot. It was good. :)

But I think I will need to get some shopping in the morning-lol

In case it isn't obvious, I am struggling to make a reasonable effort tonight. An hour has passed and I am plagued by the need to address other things. I just can't do everything.

But I will mention, there's been a lot of emotional stuff around that matter of my heart. Change in living conditions would trigger this. Moving is always an emotional thing. I have no fear of provision...knowing I have access to methods of producing income consistently.

I want to plan a budget and set a schedule for accomplishing financial goals for setting up home, for growing business, for giving. I am in an inner swirl with being clear and ordered, but, I know as days pass and I get a chance to find  and establish my rhythm, all that will settle. This is my current agenda, over everything else.

Get a clear plan and schedule. Move out of feeling like I'm constantly behind.  This is an important thing for me, because I believe such thinking springs from a 'lack' or 'wasted' mentality, neither of which are a good thing. They will work detrimentally against my good efforts to function efficiently. Time to consider the Word on this.

I remembered to speak over myself that God has given me a spirit of love, power and a sound mind. God is the orderer of my steps,  and my Master Orchestrator. He has APPOINTED times and perfect ways. I just need to stay yoked to Jesus, abiding in the  Word and walk in the 'rest' of faith.

That's it tonight.  Sleep sweet.

100 Days of Transformation- Day 46-44 Acknowledgments and Blessings

Playing Catch Up!
I have spent the evening trying to get through some of the many boxes to unpack and sort in my new place. My goals were to get my clothes hung up and my bed made. That took three hours! Lol mainly because it involved decisions about other boxes and content along the way.

I did have doing this blog and two other things on my list, but now my bed is ready, I think I'll be doing the other two in the morning. I am pretty sure I will wake early, so that should be ok!

Thank Yous

In case, you weren't aware, when god answers prayers, He usually uses other people!
God has provided for me so powerfully through family, new friends, old friends, church family and I am just sooooo grateful.
Rachel (my daughter) and Kani-sharing their home and babies <3, and Larrie, my husband, for ongoing support.
Karen and Michelle from church, who loved to see I'm looked after for lunch on Sundays :).
Michelle especially for joyful willingness to help over a period of a week or more, to move my things!!!
Natalie at Spaghetti & Jazz for gig work,  Connie for book/illustration work and Netty for the new job, and Carolyn (landlady)and Sonja, new roomy, for the warm welcome at my new place and to God for the fact that they are Christians!!!

God uses people. He wants to use us all as part of His provision and plan to demonstrate His goodness in the Earth. He tees things up perfectly through His praying and listening children. He is the incredible Master Orchestrator!

God uses people :) Generous and joyful people. I want to be just like these guys with their warmth and kindness! And this list is really only specific about the last week or so...it doesn't go into detail about the wonderful goodness I have experienced at God's hand, through His children, and even favour with those who are not yet, but love me anyway.

Just want to acknowledge them all and shout THANK YOU! <3

Dubious Consistency

Even though it may look like I have backed off commitment to some things-like the gym(!), and even being consistent here- truly, it is not that way in my heart. I just haven't been able to physically DO everything!

I may not have been at the gym (Shame, coz I'm paying for it), but I have been somewhat active, with moving and still looking for how I can implement a new plan for the new schedule. I think it will continue to include dumb-bells and Shellea's Fabulous 50s 5 and 10 minute workouts.

I haven't really focused on much of anything but getting fully moved and living each day in its own fullness. I still have a little bit more left at Rache's, but will have that across, over the next couple of days, however, the bulk of the next three days is to make some substantial progress with business goals that have gone unattended for pretty much two months, apart from some sporadic efforts to try and move forward.

The time is NOW here, to complete the actions that came with the clarity of direction I received weeks ago. I am looking forward to being able to wholeheartedly give myself to these things and create quality fruit. Something of which to be proud. The workshop is booked and the Joint Venture with Author friend, Deborah Bates one in Aug is also booked. The ads for that go live in the next day or so. But the supporting work to do excellent presentations and provide quality materials now has to get out of my head and into tangible formats.

Even as that gets underway, the second job starts on Thursday...which is way better than when it was going to start (tomorrow), giving me some very much needed breathing space for business and organising my space. I'm also leading worship Tues night and Sunday morning, and want time for my own worship time before that.

In other words, it's still FULL ON, but the light of a developing routine is in sight!
Hallelujah!

Fasting, fasting, fasting...

Week 7 just finished and week 8 commenced at sunset tonight. Now, I am up to 15 hrs fasting and a 9 hr eating window. I have been diligent with the hours I've kept up till now, but I will say, as someone who has suffered eating disorders and body image issues, the fasting can lead to situations that bring opportunities for old thinking to come in. Well, really, I guess 100 days of fasting anything could do that, and I can see it, too.

But with total fasting and specific times comes the issue of working with other peoples' rhythms and schedules, which can lead to the sense of feeling the need to guard against not having access to food- as in, a perceived potential lack. This can, in turn, lead to taking more trouble to ensure access, rather than just go with it. This bothered me today because I was out with other people, but if it happens just in my own day, I don't have that trouble. 

I haven't eaten anything since about 4, and finished a decaf coffee before 5:30, so I can eat at 8:30 tomorrow. Usually, it's more likely to be 6:30 and 9:30. I feel like I'm not doing enough to deny myself in the eating window, but I don't berate myself about it, because I look at it rationally, and it seems a silly thing to think-an old eating disorder way to think. Working out and exercise, on the other hand, I DO want to do more about.

Part of me feels kind of 'over' fasting and I feel much more aware of what I'm not having than I was earlier on. I do think that comes from making a 'treat' available. It has typically bee a very minor treat, at that, but it's enough to cause me to have to think about the challenges it is giving rise to. This could be partly why I don't feel like I'm doing enough-coz more mental energy seems to be going on food than it was before. I will prayerfully consider this, as I think there is a freedom to be found in it. An important one.

Fact is: it's easier to go without altogether than to show control. This is the thought behind Anorexia and even AA, and other addictions. But we can't go without food- we must find balance. Healthy balance.

The focus for the next three weeks is just the 16:8 Intermittent Fasting. I'm not going to do the food combining, but I am going to be portion minded. There will continue to be no bread, pasta or rice, or any grains other than corn related foods- and not all of those either. Only my one treat may be in this range.

For the final two weeks-actually 16 days, I will reintroduce measured portions of these foods again.
I have no idea how much I weigh but I do feel smaller. I can feel my hip bones when I'm lying down again-finally! Still, it doesn't seem to be anything anyone else has noticed, so...

Other Progress

As for my other goals , to do my heart emotional matter, health and finances...I think I will leave those for another blog.. too much to say and it's late. Bedtime!

100 Days of Transformation-Day 47-Persevering

The Prize of Perseverance

My sleeping grandson, Samuel Judah Puru

The days have been long and challenging, and somewhat frustrating. Funny thing is, I can still that circumstances are all moving in sync with the delays the challenges are causing, so that the stress and anxiety that threatens is consistently being waylaid by news of moving due dates. I keep 'turning up' to move forward and even tho, in some cases, I am investing much and getting nowhere, I persevere.

God is my Master Orchestrator and the orderer of my steps. Jehovah Ra-ah, the Lord is my Shepherd.

Once again, I didn't get opportunity to blog till 10pm last night, so waited until this morning.It's almost 7am, but my granddaughter is still sleeping.

I go to spend my first night in my other place, but will be back tomorrow night. I move across permanently from Sunday, but I will still be here from Wednesday night to Friday evening-altho I will be working 4-8pm Wed/Thu at the new job. I will be working days at my new business, but will do my best to be minimise that when here, treating Thursday and Fri as my weekends as much as possible. Yes, I will be busy.

My fasting and eating have been fine, eating after a certain time isn't always convenient, but I've been consistent with my 14 hrs. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to the gym and my former plan won't work at all now, so I'll be looking for alternatives. I will still be able to do the beach walks, but I know I need a muscle building plan too.

I have done some work with dumb bells and floor exercises at home, plus I have been moving boxes and some furniture up stairs etc the past ten days or so. The best solution will arise, because it's an important part of finding a permanent lifestyle element for health and being.

Once again, perseverance toward that end is required.

Matters of the Heart- 

At the close of this 100 days, the situation that has weighed on my heart will resolve as well. I have held on in hope against hope, unsure of the outcome details that the Lord wants but proclaiming in the areas I am sure. The goal in this area, is that I have peace and joy in Him and in all He is doing in my life no matter the outcome and that the word He spoke to my heart months back will come to complete fruition. The same word that comes to my rescue when the heaviness lurks in the shadows.

The time for mourning is over, Rejoice!
The season of singing has come.

It's good and timely to remember this right now. :) It doesn't feel like a suggestion, but an authoritative instruction. I hear and will not harden my heart. I will rejoice! I will sing!

Jehovah Shallom, Jehovah Shammah He is my Peace and He is near.

Principles of BreakThrough

Each day I work toward Daily Building, through all the many interruptions, disruptions, distractions, diversions and delays. It's not easy to keep going when there seems to be so much resistance. But here's the thing about breakthrough:

You are claiming back territory that you had previously relinquished to the control of another. In this case, I refer to spiritual strongholds. Emotional and physical habits that you allowed to take precedence, that you know wish to supplant. It's takes committed dedication.

Sometimes, I feel like I am just getting through a day and accomplishing nothing, but on a deeper level, I am know I am DAILY BUILDING, even as I tear down the old weights and entanglements.
I believe my hundred days are the tipping and turning points in the year and that what God promised me back in January is what he is accomplishing in and through me.

They are the bridge back into the fullness of the Way, the High Way. All these changes in circumstances and provision are part of securing the second half of my 100 days- and the year as a whole-well on the path marked out for me.

God is faithful. And He is good.

100 Days of Transformation-Day 49-47-Ongoing Testimony

I confess... doing a blog at 10 o'clock at night is just not what I consider to be a worthy plan.

1. Because I am a morning person and unless I started earlier and am on a roll, it just doesn't work. And,
2. I don't think I do the job justice.

Having said that, I am going to attempt to do this early in the morning, before  my gorgeous granddaughter comes knocking at my door for morning cuddles.

Till then... Bonsoir.

Next morning...
No time without granddaughter, who woke extra early, and now has my desk chair so she can play my keyboard, coz I already took my piano stool to my new place! lol moving right along...

Jehovah Jireh Comes Through Again.

Whilst moving things, I had a call with a part-time job offer that will boost my income a little and make living much more affordable. Perhaps, also allowing the long overdue things, like dentist, car repairs and maintenance, underwear (!) to be done.

Changes in circumstances, Changes in Plans 

This means the great intentions and plans I laid for the gym and being at my daughter's will be affected, as well as my commitment to lead the worship for the weekly prayer meeting. More change, more adaptation needed to work around, or cope with these changes.

My current meagre ( tho appreciated) income will be tripled, which is the limit I can earn outside my new business on the government programme I am on, so it seems like a good fit. I start next Wednesday, and my business starts officially on Thursday.

Whilst they all bother me, as they are commitments that matter, the prayer meeting felt like a not negotiable for various natural and spiritual reasons. Since the new employer is willing to let me leave an hour earlier to attend the weekly prayer meeting, I took it as confirmation that the other two areas would work out as well.

This means all new ways to build a routine all over again. It also means very long days, as I am obligated by legal agreement to commit 35 hrs min to my new business as well- which means 11 hr days, which won't be so hard once I move on Sunday.

Other Challenges
Tech issues in multiple areas have plagued me  and made doing anything else impossible.  Still, no success with Microsoft Office issues, after more than a week and 8hrs+ on the phone.

The Day is Away..!

It's now FOUR hours since I got up.. and the likelihood of adding any worthwhile content is waning by the moment. Time to move my bed to the new place.

But i wanted to leave you with
GOD IS FAITHFUL... a new home and a new added income!

Till next time!!

100 Days of Transformation-Days 51-50- Halfway!

Halfway!!

We are not only halfway through my 100 days, but also halfway through the year!
And no, I didn't know that I had tee-ed that up! Just followed the leading I received and that's how it turned out!

Progress..?

So, how do I feel I am going?
Sigh...
I don't feel like I ever get anywhere fast enough! lol Every thing takes longer than I want it to, and I have had a week of even more glitches and disruptions! I'm not seeing enough physical change to suit me and am waaaay too preoccupied with 'needing' to see it. I have lost weight and some inches/cms, but nothing that seems noticeable to anyone else-and I want to get to where it's evident to all! lol I also broke away from my 'rules' in a way that I haven't previously, and so, am keen to reinstate them fully again. I have been diligent with the fasting hours. This week I am doing 14 hours minimum.

Review, Revise, Recommit.

It was far from anything major-the ship is not sunk, but I just want to feel consecrated  and committed  to my original vision and focus. Finding a place, signing a lease, moving furniture and belongings, still being available for daughter and babies, church AND actually did a last minute restaurant gig in Robina too, yesterday!-All these things add more flux and disruption to an already non existent routine! ( The gig was answered prayer too)But, I was out all day and night, Saturday and Sunday!

No time for gymming, or working on anything else, as I had to spend all the time I did scrape up, dealing with Microsoft Support and Best Buy, Emeryville Ca., where I bought my laptop. It still isn't finished. But today I had other official business with NEIS and Centrelink.

Heart Matters
I had another little emotional relapse today about that situation that I've not previously identified, and am yet to feel released to do so. That was connected to a very long conversation, which took today's 'free' time  (whatever that is lol!) It is in my list of prayer requests for this 100 days, that by the end of it, I will have peace concerning all things to do with that.

It's really out of my hands anyway, other than the prayers I offer up  and the willingness to accept God's purpose in and through it all. But sometimes, I let it eat at me and want to try to reason and/or persuade. Ultimately though, it's not up to me, and I'm not entirely sure what God wants in it- I just know it's hard to let go of hope. :( I don't want to.

If God wants me to do so- that's what I want made clear to my heart.

Looking Forward

My lovely girl, Pearl- last year.

Such a gorgeous photo.. just a week or two ago.

That's enough of looking back. I am only half way. It feels kinda like the fulcrum of the tipping point, or perhaps, turning point. I still have a lot of time to make a lot of progress. I find it interesting too, that this halfway point is marked by  the geographic shift in to a new space with opportunity to start yet another new routine. ( Ha! None of them last long enough to be defined as a routine lol-altho, my little granddaughter coming to knock on my door in my morning and snuggling with me has become a ritual for us <3)

Routine Markers-Diet and Exercise Plans
I will still be up here to visit two nights and days :) And hope to attend the gym three times then, as well. I want to resume beach walking in the mornings for a minimum of three days a week and more as the days grow long again. (We already passed the shortest day too! Yay!) These are some of my physical goals.

Intermittent fasting will remain over the next 50 days, increasing to 16 hr. It's by far the hardest thing I've implemented, and not always convenient with schedules and activities, but it should produce good results health wise. It should be very good for inflammatory based issues.

Routine-A Fasted Life
Since I desire to live a 'fasted life', I have the feeling that Intermittent fasting will extend into my regular routine beyond my 100 days. A fasted life doesn't only apply for physical reasons. I want to live a fasted life of moderation and discipline in mental/emotional and spiritual ways. This has been the harder part to implement up till now, but will become easier with a stable routine because keeping busy with the positive changes is easier than simply denying the negative habits. Routines are powerful tools for developing habits (good or bad) and disruption is powerful for breaking them (good or bad).

Do not be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:21

It's best to introduce an alternative focus and activity, to replace the previous one and fill the void created with something productive and satisfying. Staying occupied and engaged, purposeful and focused can be quite critical.

Remember, without a vision, the people cast off restraint Pr 29:18, hence a review now of what my vision and ultimate purpose for this endeavour  is, rather than get bogged down in what I feel I've not accomplished- which would lead to dejection and potentially, abandonment of the intention.

My main goal is to draw nearer to God, experience His Presence always and regain greater clarity about what He wants for me.  In the process, shed the weights that have lingered, internally and externally, and become free to fly. I want to put more effort on my internal focus. I know this is needed if I am to break free in 100 Days, the way I want to.

I want to pray more, worship and rejoice more and do more with the Word.
But, for now, sleepiness is catching up.
Good night.
Have blessed dreams!