100 Days of Transformation- Day 2-1-Final 24

The man I love <3

Even though I only just got in the door, and it's 9:43 p.m., I didn't want to miss saying something on this final eve of my 100 DAYS.

I was thinking that it finished today, but as I started after sundown on Sunday (Mother's Day), May 12, my 100th Day actually started at sundown this eve and ends at sundown tomorrow. So, my counter is correct. :)

But wow!! It's been such an emotional few days! My husband has been having some difficulties too, and I'm aching that I cannot be present to comfort him. :(

Heart Strings

That personal matter that just keeps plucking away has been intensifying. It has a time sensitivity aspect and with that also counting down its final week, I find myself drawn tight across all my emotions. This does make for a bit of fragility that probably surprises people who might unwittingly scratch the raw surface of my heart. But that is where I am.

Busyness And Business




This compounds the frustration I feel at not making enough progress with my work, due to having to stop at 3 and go out to an external job four nights and Saturday till 1 pm. I have struggled with this balancing act, which I have mentioned before, and it seems that every time I feel like I'm just settling into a rhythm and doing a good job, I get the wind knocked out of my sails. And then , of course, I think Why Bother? 

There has to be a healthy balance in this. And so, I keep plugging away, looking at how to fulfil my business goals, generate some interest and income and free myself of the burden to work nights on something outside my calling and focus, just for the sake of dollars. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for all it has afforded, but the cost must be weighed, and if it is too high, an adjustment must be made.

I had already determined to give myself August to prayerfully consider this. I just mention it, coz it's been hard going the last few days. I don't have a buffer zone when it comes to time...and that's just not right.

Defiant Art

Sometimes, like today, just because I feel like this, I will ignore everything and do music or art, or write—or all of them.  I spent an early hour journalling (not unusual), and then another adding to this piece of my grand-baby girl, Pearl.

The final 45 mins before leaving, I played through a set list for worship. I selected a bunch of old skool stuff and enjoyed them. I played through that list tonight for the prayer meeting, which I go to straight from my evening shift, and why I wasn't home till late. In addition to that, I've been ripping all my favourite music to my laptop to encourage more singing when I don't have to be writing/creating. I need  to be singing!

It's That Time.
Time to hit the hay, so I can get up early and do another hour of much delayed illustration work